Monday's Music Notes and Weekend Review ~ October 7, 2013

The past. It's what most try hard to store in the back of their conscience and render any feeling of hurt, pain, broken hearts and unsought after dreams. I decided to pull off the band aid that has been covering some deep wounds and just start to feel something. I thought that maybe facing the pain straight on would somehow alleviate the anxiety that has been held up in my subconscious. I think I was looking for something that would rectify my current feeling that something is missing. In reflecting on your own life, this could be relevant to any of your past life events whether it be the loss of a loved one, the loss of a child, the heartache that you could physically feel. The one where your heart is screaming from the inside, broken, longing and wondering. So what if we took all that painful energy and just pondered on it for however long and start to feel again something that once hurt so bad. Sounds ridiculous I know.

 I tried it and I found myself feeling exactly the way I felt at some of these times in my own crazy life. The subconscious of my inner most thoughts and pain. Somehow, I brought this to the forefront of my current existence and soon thereafter the tears streamed down my cheeks. I cranked the radio up in my vehicle and just cried (don't worry I was parked).... So throughout the week I decided that I was going to somehow try to bring peace to the unmentionable pains that have haunted my existence. And so there I was sitting on the side of route 50 and watching the cars whizz past me on what was one of the most beautiful days I have seen in some time. See I was trying to resolve some inner turmoil by just taking a moment for myself to reflect on the not so wonderful memories of my life. It's so easy to remember all the really good parts, the highlight reel if you will.... But for some reason we don't seem to remember the hard times or difficult times as well. I guess we just don't want to. I mean who really wants to walk down memory lane remembering the pain we try so hard to forget. 

I am not encouraging everyone to go out driving around, thinking about Joe Bob your 6th grade boyfriend and remembering how he broke your heart. I am encouraging you to reflect on the things that have made you the person you are today. Whether it is hurtful, wonderful or somewhere in between, just to revisit some of the things that have led you to the very place you are now. How much wiser and stronger have you become? Maybe you are nicer, or more tolerant of others. We can hide our faults and live out a life, pretending that we have reached perfection or we can take the time to look back at the moments we are not so proud of and realize that without those times our lives would be very different. Sounds cliche? Yes maybe. Heard this somewhere before? Yeah, that too. The obvious factor in all of this is that it is true. 

I think that happiness is a universal goal of life. No one strives to just be miserable. We all want to appear to have the greatest lives and social media is an instigator of this unrealistic persona that most portray. It's either whining about the monotony of life or stepping up on a soap box of uneducated views of politics and religion. Why? Why do we have to we go to great lengths to put on a happy face just to have others believe that everything is peachy keen, when its not. I hope that you can find the strength in yourself to understand that life isn't all about the humans around you or the things around you. Everything is erroneous in their own time. Whether the mistake is minuscule or catastrophic, it is within that fault that has brought you to this very moment of your life. Are you happy with where you are and who you have become? I hope so. If not I think that you may need to start with peeling back the symbolic band aid and start letting your hypothetical wound air out. Healing on its own with or without Neosporin. Find the courage inside you today to embrace the erroneous human being that you are put on this Earth to be. Love yourself for all your faults and whether you are a God seeking person, God fearing person, or just a person who happens to just want to forgive them self. Be wise enough to know that you are the one that has to live your life, not your kids, not your husband, not your boyfriend, not your mother, or your grandfather..... you. In the end that is what it is all about.

In time I hope that I find peace, and learn to recognize all the things that are a person, not just their highlight reel.

Much Love,

Jaime

I have been researching some things to help alleviate some stress and anxiety, and came across this blog. It has some great information and resources to help heal and deal with anxiety. This post is great for the full-time working mom ...  Tiny Buddha


Here is Volume 2 of my Monday Mix series.... Totally frustrating though that spotify doesn't have some of my favorite artists and albums!!! I mean ONE yes ONE, De La Soul album? And not even the one I want? Grrrr. But I think its more the artist rather then spotify. But at any rate.... add some jams to your daily song list :)

Here is one of my favorite quotes from one of my kid's favorite movies The Lorax! Or as Mads likes to say..... Da OARAXE. 

This weekend was somewhat quiet I had Miss Kyla's 6 month photo shoot and another that  was rescheduled for later this week. Pretty calm for the most part catching up on the previous weddings and things on my list. 

These are just a few of the sneak peeks. I will have many more coming up on the blog later on. 

I hope you have a wonderful week!! 

Jaime